As God Is My Witness {true story}

We have been suffering a cold chill here in North Carolina lately. Around 28 f during the day and low teens at night. Then it actualy snowed the other day. The 2" of Snowfall we got brought the whole state to a stand still for a couple of days because these people in the south don't know how to drive in the snow. Anyway, it only reminded me that my wife will be looking for me to take her sking soon. Usualy we go home to Colorado and spend a week or so there so she can go sking. Myself i am not a skier, although i will go bundle up and take my skis and other gear and make a couple passes with her. She is a much better skier so i know if she waits around for me she won't have any fun. So i want her to go ahead, sking isn't really my idea of fun anyway. 65 miles an hour down a rock hill filled with tress and other people doing the same thing, and all on about 8 sq. inches of fiberglas is not my first choice for fun.
So i was thinking about the first time she ever took me snow sking, and thats what i get for marring someone ten years younger than me. growing up in the midwest with lots of snow, and no idea about snow sking, we thought we were being death defying just dragging each other around on an old car hood, pulled by a 1933 john deere tractor at 6 miles an hour.
So my first time on a ski slope was in Colorado. She got me the skis, the poles, the boots, everything i needed for her to shove me off of a mountian side . So up the chairlift we go. That wasn't bad, i hopped off with out falling and makeing a butt of myself, and was actualy able to scoot along on the skis to the starting point.
Well my first attemps were not to impressive. As i watched a 8 year old ski past me everytime i stood back up,and look at me as to say "oh you poor old retarded man" i was reminded as to how much of a complete loser i must look like. finally after a while i was able to travel around 10 feet with out busting my butt or the back of my skull. Now that i could stand up with out any help, it was time to learn how to stop. I was puzzled why she would teach me how to stop before she taught me how to take off, but it wasn't long before it all made perfect sense. After a few differnt stopping lessons she said " you know what, when you want to stop, just fall down" ok then, stopping mastered. Now i was ready to charge down this steep A@# mountian and gain certian sking glory.
Man, it wasn't that easy. It took me about an hour to get to the bottom of the mountian. Who would have known you can't just fall down a hill!!!! So we are at the bottom, close to the lodge and i am just about as mad as i have ever been in my entire life. Furstrated i command her to help me get my butt to the lodge where SHE would buy me a beer or 6, and i dont ever drink beer. Well the short version is i regain my calm, and went back up, and everytime i came down it got faster, and i got better. by the end of the day i was makeing the whole downhill run in 8 minutes. pretty good i thought. Later than eveing as we lay in bed i considered going out to the heated pool, but gave way to my back and knee pains and elected to stay in bed. Just before i dozed off i remember her saying "do you want to go sking again tommorow?" and i full of confidence now responded with "sure thing". The last thing she said that night, that kept me awake all night was "maybe tommorow we can get you off of the bunny slope"........... now when i go ski, i just take my hikeing boots, and my video camera and look for people like me, its much more fun.
be safe in life and don't forget to take a girl fishin,
AXX